Welcome to Work Tip Wednesday, where every Wednesday I get ready and talk about career, leadership and a piece of advice I've learned working for some of the world's biggest brands.
This week's question came from a Work Lunch member after our latest presentation masterclass: "What is a token, and how do I use one?"
Years ago, before I had a name for this, I used to get so sweaty before big presentations that I walked into the room already rattled. The trick that changed it sits inside a single physical object I now wear to every important meeting. It comes from a book called The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman, and the framework is small enough to put into practice this week.
The Real Challenge
Most professionals try to manufacture confidence in the moment. They give themselves a pep talk in the bathroom, breathe deep, walk in, and hope. That approach is fragile, inconsistent, and the reason so many people freeze when the stakes get real.
The leaders who consistently walk into hard rooms steady are not faking it. They are using a system to access a version of themselves that already exists, a version who has done the hard thing before. The token is the switch that turns that version on, on demand. It costs nothing. It takes thirty seconds to put on. And once you build the habit, it works every single time.
1. Understand the Alter Ego Framework
The premise of The Alter Ego Effect is simple. Confidence is accessible, not something you have to wait to feel. There are already versions of you that have walked into the boardroom prepared. The version who has advocated for her team. The version who has commanded a room, delivered a presentation, or negotiated a raise. She already exists. The challenge is reaching her on the days you need her most.
A token is the bridge. A physical object that triggers a deliberate switch from your everyday self to your performance self.
Athletes do this constantly. The pre-game ritual is not superstition. It is a reliable mental cue that tells the body to shift gears. The same mechanism works in corporate rooms. A specific pair of earrings before a board meeting. A specific pen pulled out at the start of a negotiation. A specific necklace clasped on before a difficult conversation.
This is not about pretending to be someone you are not. It is about reliably accessing the version of yourself you have already proven you can be.
2. Pick Your Trait, Then Pick Your Token
Two steps. Both matter.
Step one: identify one trait you need more of right now. Courage. Calm. Executive presence. Decisiveness. Authority. Patience. Pick exactly one. Specificity matters here. "More confident" is too broad to anchor anything. "Calm under tough questions" or "decisive when interrupted" is specific enough to attach to a moment.
Step two: pick a token that points to that trait. A token can be almost anything. Some options:
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A pair of glasses that signal "leader mode"
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A piece of jewelry that stands for courage
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A blazer kept exclusively for big meetings
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A fountain pen used only in negotiations
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A pair of heels that change how you walk into the room
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A small object kept in a pocket that symbolizes a particular strength
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A fresh, blank notebook that signals coming in clean and prepared
Attach the meaning out loud the first time you use it. "This watch means I lead from conviction." "This blazer means I take up space without apologizing for it." Then wear or carry it the next time you need that trait. The first three or four uses cement the association. After that, the cue becomes automatic.
For me, the token is my grandmother's watch. It reminds me of where I come from, and walking into the room with it on my wrist anchors me in a place of conviction. I am the last in a long lineage of remarkable women, and the watch makes sure I remember that on the days I need to.
3. Anchor the Token in a Five-Second Story
The reason tokens work is the same reason stories work. Humans are wired for narrative. Confidence does not arrive on demand. It follows a brief story we tell ourselves, and the body catches up to the story.
The story has to be specific, true, and short enough to recite in five seconds. Vague affirmations like "I am confident" do not work, because the brain knows they are not true on the days you need them most. A concrete story works, because it points to evidence.
A simple template to write yours:
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The reference moment. A specific time you, someone in your lineage, or a model you admire faced something hard and got through it.
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The bridge. A single sentence that connects that moment to what you are about to walk into.
Practice the story out loud three or four times until it lands without effort. Then tell yourself the story every time you put the token on.
The Bottom Line
The trick to walking into high-stakes moments steady is not a personality trait. It is a small repeatable system. One trait, one token, one short story you tell yourself when you put the token on.
Pick yours this week. Use it the next time the room matters. The steadiness builds faster than you would guess.
